Sep 102009

It started out as a staple of carbs. Simple, bland, but capable of sustaining life.  Early curmudgeons probably ate them raw like apples.  Eventually hominids learned to cook them, even season them.  And how warm and “mashable” they became!  Throughout it all, however, the potato has pretty much remained what we call a “side” to a main course.  It complements a meat and appears in menus alongside baked beans, broccoli, corn on the cob, and the like.  It’s the filler that keeps us from overindulging, and it keeps meals affordable. How… sensible.  Overlooked and unappreciated, poor potato has always been, at most, a sidekick.  And that’s even IF it is chosen over another side selection.

It was therefore inevitable that the potato would someday avenge itself.  Enter the stuffed potato.

The stuffed potato elevates this common starch into a main course.  In fact, I ordered one tonight to relieve me of guilt.   It was impregnated with chicken, which until recently was its own main course.  And as if to laugh in the face of tradition, it was stuffed with broccoli — a side dish in its own right.  Poor broccoli, doused in alfredo sauce and melted cheese to the point that it is no longer recognizable.  Should the meal be too cold, too hot, too saucy, too salty, too flatulent… it can all be blamed on broccoli, the fall guy.

Something magical happens when a potato is stuffed.  The skin, basted in alfredo sauce, becomes part of the meal rather than just protective shoe leather.  Its “eyes,” which were once considered defects, are now sequins of light, sparkling on the plate.  It has graduated from sensible to sensational!

It will happen soon, this author predicts, that other side dishes shall rise to glory. Perhaps out of eons of oppression or simply out of jealousy.  Stuffed zucchini?  You laugh, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that zucchini has been slit open and stuffed with mashed potatoes.

Posted by Jefferson Tagged with: , ,
Jan 012008

I wonder what it would be like to work for a calendar company on New Years Eve. Executives hovering over a TV set in the board room, all eyes on that magic ball in Times Square. Tension building, foreheads sweating. Then at one second past midnight, they all sigh and relax, complimenting each other. Another year indeed begins, meaning no mass refunds for calendars sold in December.

New Years Day is a day to both reflect on the past year and set goals for the new year to come. Technically, it’s 2008, but really New Years Day is more of a “bridge” day between the two years. The day doesn’t exist. It’s in limbo. That’s why it’s a holiday — they can’t figure out how to pay you for New Years Day. I think it’s also the one day of the year that you can commit crimes and they don’t count.

Today can be summed up in one word: lists. Everyone makes a list on New Years Day, disguised by the name “resolutions.” These are things we were supposed to do last year, but say we’re going to do this year, giving us 364 days to forget them for next year. Smarter hominids write with cheap pens so that the ink fades by November. For everyone else, these lists of resolutions become lists of “what the hell was I thinking?” and are instantly replaced by lists of things we want for Christmas. Santa, of course, steals those lists and replaces them with blank paper so you have about a week to prepare for your New Years Day resolutions. It’s a perpetual cycle of self improvement. Or at least writing about self improvement.

Some make only a few lofty resolutions, like engaging in world travel, earning an educational degree, writing lists. Others, like myself, believe in setting several small goals that are easier to manage, like vacuuming. Or making pudding. Come next January, I don’t want to be the fool holding a list of incomplete goals. Pudding is not subject to flight delays or getting an “A” in Physics.

What’s on my list for 2008? I’d like to publish more work, for one. I’m putting the Egypt Room on hold so that I can build up my home studio and office. I also need to unpack; I moved into the chateau last June, and at least half of my belongings are still in boxes. I also want to do more travel and free writing, the latter being the inspiration for new works to publish.

Ohno! I just made a list!

Posted by Jefferson