Virtual Confetti

Merry Christmas everyone!  Yes, I realize it’s only October, but I live on that street.  You know, that one cul-de-sac in the city that goes nuts every Christmas with outdoor lighting displays.  We’re the reason your dining room light flickers briefly at 7pm the day after Thanksgiving, as well as being responsible for the extension cord famine during most of December.  We cause the traffic jams that leave your drive-thru chicken cold on the dinner plate.  And eat that dinner by candlelight when the antenna beam atop the TV News van gets caught up in the light strings stretching across the street, blowing the power circuit for the neighborhood.  Ahh, the smell of pine and molten circuitry.

It’s understandable that some may see us as more of a nuisance than a benefit to society.  For those Scrooges, realize we keep electricity affordable for everyone.  The way I see it, the electric company relies on our air conditioners and pool pumps during the summer.  During the winter… nothing.  Our rates would skyrocket if it weren’t for us pulling extra power to light up our inflatable purple dinosaurs.

I was late getting my lights up last year.  This year, my neighbors are requiring me to submit plans and technical drawings by the end of October.  It’s unspoken, but it appears there’s a committee.  They’ve been picking my brain since June, trying to get a hint as to what I’m planning, but the only thing I tell them is, “Why do you always show up at my door holding baseball bats?”  Mums the word.